I hate this box I put myself in, I know I put myself in it but why? Because society told me I had to. We are told our whole lives a woman’s job is to get married, have babies, be a perfect wife and mother and under all the stress and pressure still look perfect like you have it all figured out.. All the shows we watched growing up betrayed perfect family’s with a dad that went to work and a mom that loved spending her days cooking and cleaning with a smile on her face because she loved being a mom. (Spoiler alert those shows were written by men) Did you have that family? Probably not, by the 90s most moms didn’t stay home anymore they worked or if they did stay home it wasn’t rainbows and butterflies it was a lot of yelling and stress. Why? Because it’s hard! All these shows did was make me feel like something was wrong with my family, that I wasn’t in a “normal” family, yet now as an adult talking to my friends and seeing most of us had parents that were together but fought nonstop or a split household where parents didn’t speak at all or spoke through the children. Moral of the story, those shows were setting us up to FAIL. I spent my entire life saying “I’m going to be like that mom, I’m going to have it all together and be the PTA baking mom that has it all figured out and is the best wife and mom possible” if I could talk to that little girl now I would say poor little innocent child you were wrong, so very wrong. Although you tried your very hardest and tricked the world in to believing you were great thanks to social media, yet you were no better then the mom who failed you. Yeah you showed up to everything and you helped out with everything and on the outside you looked like a perfect mom, on the inside you were slowly dying, behind closed doors you yelled all the time and were moments away from a mental break down. You resent that “dream” husband that everyone loves so much because you know he is just as fake as the shows you grew up watching. You wanted love, you wanted compassion but what did you get? Another child to look after just a lot bigger and a whole lot more annoying. It’s not your fault tho, you just did what society told you to. Society tells you that you are to get married and love every second of it! What society doesn’t tell you tho is the reality of every wives life. No one tells you that once you get married you are now that man’s mother, you don’t get a partner you get another responsibility. You will do his laundry, cook his meals, clean up after him, make all of his dentist and doctor apts, god for bid he gets a cold because he is even more useless then he already was. Oh but it’s okay because MAYBE you’ll be a stay at home mom and that will make it worth it right? Yeah totally worth it to be with kids 24/7 and be told by your spouse that he can’t help you when he gets home because he worked all day, because all the cleaning, cooking, and chasing the kids around all day isn’t work you silly girl, that’s fun! Don’t worry tho, that probably won’t be your life anyway, the cost of living is so high that normally you’ll have to work too. If you’re both working he will help out right? Because that’s the right thing to do! If you think that you’ll be wrong again! When a man takes his child out to the park and sits on a bench staring at his phone he is such a good dad, how sweet of him to take his kids and give their mom a break! Yet when you do that exact thing you’re just doing what you should be but now you’re lazy for being on your phone. You will work all day like the man does and still be responsible for everything I listed you’ll do as a stay at home mother. Moral of the story this box women are told to fit in, is too small and unrealistic. Every time a mom turns around there is someone there judging her when we spend enough time judging ourselves. We are tired, we are unappreciated, and we are over societies bull shit standards.
-sincerely every mother
Work in progress 